Why Indeed

“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.

O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.

The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night,
A prayer to the God of my life.” —Psalm 42:5–8

Why are you in despair

I ask myself this question often. Through the years, God has proven Himself to me repeatedly. He has provided needed finances, the perfect next house, reliable transportation, jobs, churches, and friends. He has proven His love by sending me an amazing family. He demonstrated His care when He saw me through medical crisis. He revealed His closeness in the death of friends and family. And He remains faithful in my Bible study and my daily walk.

So why do I allow myself to sink into despair when I consider the unknown aspects of my future? God has already given me ample reason to trust that He has everything under control—and His love will sustain me no matter where He leads.

But I AM in despair

I’m weak. I forget—over and over. I give in to my nature that tends to focus on what I lack rather than on what I have. I quickly turn my attention to the apparent turmoil before me. The unknown aspects of my future become overwhelming. The volume of the questions is deafening. I get sucked into this storm of fear and doubt.

Like Peter, I take my eyes off of Jesus and immediately start to sink.

Deep calls to deep

In Hebrew poetry, this image is overwhelming. The Psalmist is describing the roaring of a waterfall, the surf crashing on the beach, endless waves rolling over him. This is a picture of repeating, debilitating helplessness. Trouble seems to call to deeper trouble. There is no time to adjust to—much less recover from—the last wave before another crashes. The force of the waterfall is constant. Unrelenting. The depth of the trouble can seem endless.

I’ve been there.

In those moments, all my prayers are, “I’m drowning! Rescue me. Get me out of these waters.”

Your waterfalls… Breakers… Waves…

How have I never seen this before?

These waterfalls, breakers, and waves that seem so chaotic and random are all part of a bigger plan. God is not chaotic. He is order. His plan is not random—it’s intricately designed.

These waves that feel so chaotic are tools that God is using to shape me, correct me, and strengthen me.

He will never leave me in the torment for one second longer than necessary.

I must keep my eyes on Him. Seek His face. Strengthen my grip on His hand. And trust that all of this exists within His plan.

His song will be with me

Peter was never out of Jesus’ reach.

Neither am I.

As I turn my focus back to my Father, He is quick to stretch out His hand to steady me. He may not take me out of the water, but He will remind me that He is there with me.

In the same way that He was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fire, He is with me in my struggles as well.

“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.” —Psalm 42:11

For more on Psalm 42, see What Do You Want