There is a constant tension in my life that I am rarely aware of — an uncertainty that keeps me slightly off-balance. It is typically during my morning quiet times, or in the stillness as I lie down at night, that the realization comes roaring to the forefront of my mind.
I have a deep desire to stay close to God. But I am reluctant to move in too close. I fear Him because He knows everything about me. But in those quiet moments I am reminded that He knows everything about me.
And stand in awe of Him, all you descendants of Israel. —Psalms 22:23
To stand in awe of God is to stand at the same time both repelled and attracted; both terrified and peaceful; both fully known and deeply loved.
Throughout Scripture, encounters with God provoke both impulses: Moses hides his face (Exodus 3:6) yet draws closer. Peter says, “Depart from me,” (Luke 5:8) yet follows Jesus (Luke 5:11).
Holiness repels me because it exposes my flaws; it attracts me because it heals. What repels the false self draws the true self home.
The terror isn’t that God is cruel; it’s that God is uncontrollable. The peace isn’t that God is predictable; it’s that God is good.
Awe is what happens when we realize we are not managing the relationship—and yet we are not in danger. That paradox produces a calm deeper than reassurance.
Awe is our response when nothing within us is hidden. And yet God does not pull away.
The exposure that should have destroyed us instead became the place of safety.
There is inexpressible freedom here. As I stand before Him – completely naked, He lovingly clothes me in royal, holy garments. As I tentatively lean in while stepping away, He gently reaches out and draws me in. And I am reminded once again that He does all the work in this relationship.
My response is to stand in awe.