I Am Loved

"The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life."
—Psalm 42:8

I have been reading Psalm 42 on the twelfth day of the month, nearly every month, for over four decades. I have written three previous articles from it. Verses 1-2 is one of my favorite phrases in the Book of Psalms. Verse 5 is another. Then the repetition with a slight revision in verse 11 intrigues me.

But today. On about the four-hundred-ninety-second time thru, I get stuck on the word "command" in verse 8. (I stay amazed at how His Word is new every morning…)

"Command His lovingkindness?" You can't command love? It's a feeling — an emotion — right? I can't command those things, can I?

Today became the day when God began to unwind some of the tangled ball of twine that I have accumulated and been taught about His love for most of my life.

Don't get me wrong; I've understood for some time now that love is so much deeper than only an emotion. It's also a choice. And action. I realized years ago that if love was something I could fall into, then I could also fall back out of it. I found that deeply unsatisfying. So, true love must be something more. I settled into love being something that I did more than just what I felt. It is a constant choice that I make — all day, every day. It requires effort.

I found that definition quite satisfying.

Until today.

For most of my life, I've understood that God's love is "agape," unconditional, selfless, sacrificial. That has set the standard that I strive for. I want to love as God loves. Of course, I realize that in my human limitations, this is impossible. But, then again, if I can get out of His way, then He can love through me. This has been my comfort and hope.

But what Psalm 42:8 is talking about goes further than agape. The Sons of Korah use the Hebrew term "hesed" to describe God's love. Hesed includes all that agape is, but adds covenant faithfulness. In other words, hesed is the love that God has promised to us. And even more than promised. God Himself has commanded this hesed.

Commanded who? Commanded Himself!

He has bound Himself to this promise. But not bound in the sense that He might try to somehow escape the promise. He is bound to it because this is a reflection of Who He IS!

"The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love." —1 John 4:8

When I first entered jail, I was certain that I had forfeited God's love. I felt alone and afraid. I wondered how God could possibly ever use me again. I became utterly desperate.

All I could see was the tangled mess that sin had left in my wake — the shattered relationships, the broken promises, the humiliation, the pain. How could anybody love me now?

But as I began to immerse myself in His Word again, I slowly began to receive and embrace this hesed.

In the Scriptures, He began — once again — to reveal His love. I was able to experience grace, forgiveness, cleansing, and restoration. I began to find my identity in God's love — hesed. Not because I had finally earned His love again, but because love is Who He IS. What I felt was the effect of my sin; but what I knew was hesed.

He loved me before I knew Him. He loved me in my sin and rebellion. And He loves me today.

God could no more cease to love us than water could cease to be wet.

Written May 12, 2026 in Roswell, Georgia.