What Do You Want?

Learning to Want God More

Psalm 42:1–2

“As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?”
—Psalm 42:1–2

I have often been challenged by this passage.

When I compare David’s desire with my own, I find myself wanting. I absolutely want to be near God—but I don’t know that my desperation matches the thirst of the deer. My soul wants God, yes… but it is also distracted. Divided. Pulled in a dozen directions by lesser pursuits.

So I begin to wonder if David’s words are less a declaration of spiritual achievement and more a prayer of longing—a prayer to be desperate to be desperate.

That feels far more human. And far more relatable.

Perhaps this psalm was written in a moment of genuine crisis, when thirst had finally stripped away distraction. I know that in my own life, desperation comes easily—but usually only for a moment. When pressure eases, my hunger often fades with it.

Still, whether this psalm was born in crisis or longing, it names a posture I want:

I want my soul to pant for God
the way a thirsty deer pants for water.

“These things I remember…” — Psalm 42:4
“Therefore I remember You…” — Psalm 42:6

There is mercy here.

David turns from longing to remembering—and so must I. Thank God there is enough in my past to confirm that God is still God, and that He still does what He says He will do.

So why is remembering so difficult?

Why do I so naturally fixate on the struggle before me instead of the faithfulness behind me? Why does the obstacle feel louder than the God who has already carried me through so much?

There is real benefit in reviewing what God has done for us, in us, and through us. These are not sentimental memories; they are anchors. They deserve to be written down, revisited, rehearsed.

Perhaps if our minds were more practiced in remembering God’s past faithfulness, our present struggles would feel less intimidating—and we would turn to Him sooner, rather than only after repeated or certain failure.

Psalm 42:11

“Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.”

Sometimes I have to speak to my own soul with honesty—and firmness.

Sometimes that looks less like gentle reassurance and more like standing in front of the mirror, reminding myself that I am in good hands. That I am not abandoned. That this obstacle, however real, is not ultimate.

David reminds us that God Himself is our hope. And that once He has carried us through—again—we will see that it was in His hands all along.

If we learned to rehearse the things God has already brought us through, praise would come more naturally. Gratitude would follow faith. And God would receive the glory He so rightly deserves.

I have to take my eyes off of myself
and fix them on Him.

Prayer

O God,
I want to want You more.

My soul longs for You, but it is often distracted and divided. Teach me to desire You not only in moments of crisis, but in the quiet, ordinary spaces of my life. When my hunger fades, draw me back. When my eyes drift, refocus them on You.

Help me remember what You have already done—
the ways You have carried me, sustained me, and remained faithful when I was weak. Anchor my present fears in Your past faithfulness.

When my soul is downcast and disturbed within me, remind me that You are my hope. Lift my eyes beyond the obstacle before me and fix them on You, the One who holds all things—including me—in Your hands.

Amen.