When the World Moves On and God Stays Near

Life outside jail wasn't the relief I expected.

It was a battlefield of its own.

I couldn't get a job.

The charges hanging over me made employers hesitant.

My age didn't help.

Gig work was out—my car's transmission had failed.

I couldn't deliver packages.

I couldn't drive to interviews.

I couldn't sleep in the car because it no longer ran.

Homelessness loomed.

Most of my family had distanced themselves.

Old friends remained silent.

Ministry connections had faded.

I was back in the world—but without a place in it.

And yet, God remained near.

The man who walked into jail in 2023 had been buried in shame.

The man who walked out had been resurrected through the Word.

Fourteen times through the Bible.

Fourteen layers peeled away.

Fourteen encounters with grace.

I now understand addiction differently—not just as sin or weakness, but as spiritual slavery.

And what Jesus said in John 8:36 is true:

"If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

Freedom doesn't mean ease.

It means clarity.

Sobriety doesn't guarantee comfort.

It guarantees war—and the Spirit's presence within it.

I still face trial.

I could spend the rest of my life in prison.

From the world's view, I am wrecked.

Discarded.

A cautionary tale.

But from heaven's view, I'm redeemed.

God hasn't forsaken me.

I feel Him in the hunger.

I hear Him in the silence.

I see Him in the uncertainty.

And wherever He leads—without promise or certainty—I will follow.

Because He is still good.

And I am still His.

Biblical Parallel: The Prodigal Son

Luke 15:11–32: When Grace Runs First

He squandered everything.

Left home.

Chased pleasure.

Ended up feeding pigs.

Then he came to his senses.

He didn't rehearse a defense.

He rehearsed a confession.

"I'm no longer worthy to be called your son…"

But the father didn't wait.

He ran.

He embraced.

He restored.

Not because the son was clean.

Because the father was merciful.

The robe.

The ring.

The feast.

All before the apology was finished.

Reflection: Grace Doesn't Wait for Worthiness

I didn't return to applause.

I returned to silence.

To uncertainty.

To rejection.

But grace met me anyway.

Not with a robe.

But with the Word.

Not with a feast.

But with daily bread.

The Prodigal didn't earn his way back.

He simply came home.

And the Father ran.

God doesn't wait for us to be worthy.

He waits for us to come home.

Invitation: Come Home

Are you afraid to return?

Afraid of rejection?

Afraid you've gone too far?

You haven't.

Write down what you think disqualifies you.

Then write Luke 15:20 beside it:

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion…"

You are seen.

You are loved.

You are welcome.

Come home.